These past few weeks have been pretty busy for me.
I’ve had my new job for two weeks.
I can’t honestly say that I love it, but it’s not the worst job I’ve had. I’m trying to stay on the positive side and see the best in everyone. Sometimes that’s harder than others (especially if I’m hangry – it’s a real thing, folks!). But even setbacks are useful as lessons. I know that I need to make sure I’m getting enough to eat, otherwise I might be tempted to take that out on people who don’t deserve it (or who maybe do, but I don’t want to be that guy). And I know that it’s easier and kinder to help people complete tasks than to complain that they aren’t getting done.
It’s day 8 of NaNoWriMo.
I’m not doing great. I’m at just over 4,000 words. That’s almost ten thousand less that the goal for 50k, and half as many as I need for my personal goal of 30k. I know it’s definitely possible to double that very quickly and get caught back up. But it’s probably not going to happen today, since I have work until 9:30pm. (Sleep is good. Sleep is god.) I also have very little idea of where the plot is, to be honest. I have my main points plotted out in my outline, but connecting them is proving very difficult. I know I just need to stick with it and keep going, though. Last year I slumped in the second and third weeks, and still wound up with my personal goal of 20k, so I have faith in myself.
I’m attempting a weight loss journey.
My classes are now in Week 3 of the “minimester”.
I’m…honestly not doing super great. I’ve turned in late assignments twice so far and I’m not proud of it. I really wanted to start these courses off well and hit the ground running here. I’ve definitely failed at that. I’m hoping as I come out of my energy slump (er, well, I’m hoping I come out of this energy slump) I can apply myself more and perform better. I am happy with the quality of the work I’ve been doing. I just need to do it sooner.
And the hardest part: waking up.
My schedule is a weird one that I’m not used to. Before I moved, I worked almost exclusively in the morning. Either I was opening at 5am or 5:30, or I was mid-shifting at 7am. I was used to getting up early, before everyone else, and heading off, then having time after work to sit around in coffee shops and get things done. (Writing, school work, etc.) I might even get a nap in before dinner.
Now that’s all quite changed. I work just down the street from my partner, and I don’t have my own car, so he takes me too and from work on his way to his own job. I’ve had to therefore work my schedule around his – which is usually 12pm – 7pm. This means a lot of closing shifts. It also means going to bed around 12am/1am and waking up around 10:30am. Which, yep, is like 9-10 hours of sleep. That’s a bit much, but it’s hard for me to wake up earlier, for a few reasons.
One of them being, I’m basically a bear. There is no fifteen minute nap for me. I will sleep for three hours, or maybe six, or twelve. That’s pretty much it. Waking up at all is difficult for me. Even more so when I’m in an energy slump like I am right now. With my fatigue levels this high, I could stay in bed for days if you let me. I would feel like absolute garbage about it, but I could do it.
My plan (that I haven’t been able to stick to at all) is to get up at 7am, before my partner gets up, and spent a few hours exercising, writing, and doing school work. Three and a half hours is plenty of time to get some quality work in on all of those projects.
Unfortunately that hasn’t been happening. I’ve set alarms to wake up at 7am, and waking up is actually possible. But then I spend a half hour browsing Tumblr on my phone. And then I roll back over and see how comfortable and snuggley and adorable my partner looks sleeping, and it’s really hard not to join him. And some days, my brain is just like, “Fuck it. Who says you have to get up. Stay here and sleep.” And I do. It’s hard not to listen to that voice.
The takeaway is, energy and balance.
I’m praying for an end to this fatigue session, first of all. I’m thinking, hoping really, that it’s been affected by hormones and will end shortly as the usual cycles run their course. If not… Well I might be stuck all season. In that case, I’ll certainly need some willpower and a hell of a lot of spoons to overcome it.
Balance is the other thing. Balancing the different aspects of my life – school, work, NaNoWriMo, my relationship, and my personal projects (like this site). Balancing food and exercise. Balancing my emotional states (not so easy).
I’m hoping I can manage energy and balance. And I’m wishing you, dear reader, all the energy and balance you need to be fulfilled in your life. Love and luck. <3